01/01/2020

I began the day by clinking my glass of sparkling apple juice with my mom, followed by my dad. As I sipped on my juice the thoughts that ran through my head were all over the place. What would my job be? Who will still be in my life? When will I succeed? How can I make money? What is next for me? Who is for me? If you thought those were the only questions, you’d be wrong. I had many, many more. As my thoughts came to an end so did the cheers and “Happy New Years”.

Friend: “Lets play cards!”

Me: “Oh Heck Yeah.”

Of course the thoughts were still there. They were just pushed to the back of my mind so the competitive card player in me could come out to play! I almost won by the way… almost! Those questions came back as I headed to bed an hour later. I just needed some sort of resolution before heading to bed. Unfortunately under a lot of stress, lack of sleep and anxiety, solutions were not coming to mind very easily. I woke up and went through the day and… still haven’t come up with any.

I think the real problem is a New Years resolution won’t solve anything for me. Let’s be real… nobody has ever completed one of those. Comment below if you ever have though! That is super awesome and CONGRATS!

My issue is I no longer know exactly what I want. Shoot, I don’t even know who I am at this point. I just graduated with my Bachelors Degree and all the way up til now, I’ve known exactly what I want, when I want it and how I am going to get it. Now I am at a loss. If you want to know all about identity crisis and how life after college is, click this. (If link isn’t active, It probably isn’t posted yet!)

Instead of coming up with a resolution for the year of 2020 and putting a time limit on it, I am going to spend as much time as needed learning about myself. What I like, what I don’t like, where I want to be and who I want to be. I feel like there is no specific time I should give myself for that. Honestly, you should probably take a look at your list of resolutions right now and think about them. Are you going to do that task because you gave yourself a year and you have to or because you want to. You have to want it and give yourself the time that it needs. Sometimes you just need to forget about time all together and just ride with it.

Anyhow I’m not an expert, thats just my opinion! Well, it is getting pretty late and I am exhausted from thinking. Good Night Ya’ll!