You Can Be Happy
We live in a society where judgment and negativity have taken over our emotions. Happiness and love are goals we look at from afar, in hopes of achieving one day. What if you could achieve it right now? What if you didn’t put your judgment of others before your own happiness? What if you thought about yourself in a positive way instead of criticizing each and every curve on your body?
Every one of these thoughts is connected. Like the circle of life, the prey is happiness, and the predator is you.
I absolutely love that line. It was not in the first draft, that’s for sure! At first, writing this all down was to get it out of my head and cope with the emotions that I was having. It slowly became an idea that I could help others or at the very least make people feel more normal for having similar emotions.
Just because I wrote this, does not make me a perfect person. This just shows that people who give advice are working on themselves too. Nobody in this world is perfect but we can work every day towards a goal of happiness. Realistic goals are a part of your path to happiness. I am going to do everything in my power to offer you advice to help you achieve self-love, true happiness, and healthy habits.
Okay, Let’s begin our journey because you can be happy.
Positivity is Key
A quote that I may have read, may have been told or even just thought of on my own, stuck with me since I was a kid, “Positivity is Key”. The meaning is fairly simple but can become quite complex. It can be daunting but also inspiring. Exactly like every other moment in life, it depends on how you process and act upon it.
People are constantly telling me, “You are always so happy” or “Do you ever stop smiling”. At first, it was so easy to just reply, “Positivity is key, yanno”. They would laugh and walk away or change the topic. Never really questioned it. Not one person asked, “what does that mean?”. Honestly, if they would have asked, I am not sure I’d have had a response. I was always super great at coming up with something clever and motivational, so I am sure I’d come up with something. Truly I did not know what I was saying until my first year of college.
After a few years of repeating the same thing, I was exhausted. It was annoying for me to hear the same comments repeatedly and to know that nobody cared about why I was smiling. With time I started to question myself. Why was I happy all the time when nothing good was happening? How did I sit there and smile at school, crack jokes, and create friendships then go home, check social media, and cry myself to sleep? How is that even possible? Well, I can tell you one thing. It is possible because I did it… for 8 years.
I started to ask myself these questions when I first moved out to go to college. I was alone frequently, and we all know exactly what happens when you are alone too much. The brain starts to move at a million miles a minute, you can’t stop it and if you are like me, your heart starts to race, and you begin thinking about everything you’ve done wrong in life. You even start to replay all the embarrassing moments in your life until they make you want to cry and at times… die. It seems dramatic, trust me, I know. When you live a life of depression and anxiety, there is no telling what you will feel the next day, hour, minute, or even second. The feeling just happens even when you wish it wouldn’t.
Through that time, I found that my smile through hardships was to please others. I craved making people happy. Their happiness made me happy. Here is the thing, I don’t know if this is a healthy way to live or not. I am not a therapist so my advice is purely opinion. When I stopped smiling as frequently, I was much more sensitive to the curveballs life had been throwing at me. I became negative about everything and noticed many more small things that irritated me. Life became a miserable place that I didn’t enjoy existing in. It is still a miserable place that I don’t enjoy existing in. I question all the time, why did God make earth such a dirty, mean, hateful place to be? Then, I think about going back to the way I used to be; smiling all the time.
I wonder if I went back to living the motto, “faking it til you make it”. Would I feel better? Yes, it was mainly for the people around me, but was it also tricking my body into feeling happy? Smiling and being positive could be the cure for happiness. A key can open a door to your house, a car, a closet, a barn and so much more. It makes sense that it could open your heart to happiness. AKA Positivity is Key!
Strength is in Your Story
What is something that is born with every one of us, releases your confidence, helps you become a better you. NO CHEATING. Don’t look at the title. Strength will break you free, if it hasn’t already. A blogger and Mental Health Advocate, S.R. Crawford talks about strength in a way I never understood strength to be. I will get more into how she views it in a moment.
I don’t believe I am 100% strong. I do believe I can be strong with certain things. Strength to me always meant control. It meant that you knew how to do something, when to do it, and how to do. You also needed to be able to do all of that without the emotions of sadness, fear, or anger. Those emotions are not soemthing you should have if you are strong. At least, so I thought. When you are sad about a boy who may or may not like you, you are NOT supposed to be sad. You are supposed to know that you are better than that. You are supposed to know you are worth more and worth a good fight. If you don’t think that and you don’t own that with pride and stand tall, then you are weak. This is what I thought, at least before I read some of the blog post I found by Crawford.
Crawford does not look at strength as the opposite of weakness. She says that, “strength is instead the recognition, acceptance, and actions taken even with weakness.” This clearly go against everything I just mentioned above. In order to have strength, you must be able to have a weakness in the first place. You need to know what your weakness is and awknowledge it. Only then can you take steps forward to overcome it.
She goes further into what strength means using the words resililience, vulnerability, bravery, truth, trust, love, confidence, accountability, and boundaries. I really recommend reading her article on “What Does it Mean To Be Strong?” She goes into detail about how each of these words can lead you to strength.
Finding your strength may be difficult but so worth it. You will feel so much love for yourself. People will recognize your strength, respect you, and love you for it. If you are still struggling with finding your strength, Don’t feel alone in the struggle. If you feel like you are struggling to be strong, that is actually a good sign. You want to feel emotions. Only then will it help you become strong. Demi Lovato says,
“Watch a movie that makes you laugh or listen to a song that makes you cry. Embrace your emotions and be proud of what you feel”.
Another quote I adore that she says is,
“Love yourself and treat yourself as you would treat your very best friend. You deserve the same love you give to others.”
This quote just proves that you and everyone around you are worthy of love. These quotes are taken from Demi Lavotos book, “Stay Strong: 365 Days a Year”. This is not the type of book you read in a week. This is the type of book that you take your time with. You only read one page every morning. It is like a daily devotional book. It can help motivate you, change you, and generate positive thoughts in you. If you allow it to. The book made me embrace some things about myself. I am Beautiful. I am Worthy. And I am Lovable. You are You. You are all of these things too. The moment you accept that is the moment you truly believe in yourself and find your strength.
“Learn from the past and share your experiences with others” says Lovato. This is something I have struggled with for a while. But somebody once told me that what I have to say matters. My story matters and I deserved to be heard just as much as anyone else does. Thanks mama.
Have you ever been out with your family and you run into someone neither you nor your parents are a fan of? Your mom will nudge you and say, “Just smile.” In your head you think, Oh my gosh… I really hate these people…If they talk about their cat this whole time… I’m seriously going to… “oooooh, so nice to see you”! Yeah…I’ve been there.
What if you were to treat every negative situation with that same attitude though? Now… I am not saying to go be fake to people! That is not what I am saying at all. I’m not even really talking about people you don’t like. That’s just a great example of when you have negative thought and turn it into a positive reaction.
So, let’s put it into a scenario where you don’t make a positive reaction and how you can fix that. You have a friend who loves to be negative about almost everything you do. Usually, you just nod your head and sometimes fall into that same habit. I have. When I am out with a friend who is being negative ALL the time, I get bored and start to think the same way because… why not? I also begin to feel depressed. Then when I come to realize what they are doing to me; I overdramatize the situation and become even more upset. I’m a dramatic person… no shame.
What I noticed was that person most likely did not see what they were doing. Perhaps they have been negative their whole life or learned it from their parents. Maybe that friend is depressed. What you can’t do is let them affect YOU negatively. You need to be the light for that person.
Let’s bring up that same scenario… What if that friend became negative and you responded with a smile and said, ““Maybe it’s not the best but let’s at least try to enjoy it.” Wouldn’t that just make you feel so much better. It will fill you with instant hope and joy. Every situation, event and game can be turned into something you can enjoy and be happy about. It’s all about how you respond to it.
There are many other ways for you to turn the day/night around and stay positive. After being positive over and over again when the person is being the opposite, they might notice everything isn’t as bad as it seems. You might just open up that dark tunnel for them to see a magical rainbow when they walk out. I know that was a bit exaggerative and theatrical, but that is just how I talk. We are here for the dramatics, aren’t we? They may even start mimicking your actions and words to others. It will become a chain reaction.
Once you start being positive you will truly see a difference in the people around you. That is what we want to see in this world. We don’t want a negative domino effect; we want a smiling domino effect. Smiles can create opportunity, better health, more motivation in yourself, less wrinkles, and change the world into something beautiful for those to come. Someone just needs to be the start to that change. Will it be you?
Forgiveness is For The Weak.
Don’t Diagnose Me, I’m Fine.
Just Do It!
You’re in Control of Your Happiness
Confidence is in You.