Are you afraid of getting embarrassed, not being perfect or just not being good enough? Rachel Hollis, an author that should sound familiar to you if you read my blog often, wrote another book called, “Girl Stop Apologizing”. This book teaches you how to have confidence in yourself and, as her title says, to stop apologizing.
Something most girls (most, not all) struggle with is apologizing for having a dream. Why do we apologize for having a dream? Well, I can tell you why I apologize too much. I apologize for having a dream because I fear I will not achieve it. I fear they are too far away and out of reach. I fear that I am getting in the way of others who may be better. I fear my friends and family may get annoyed of me if I show too much passion. Two things happen because of all these fears.
- I work really hard for a bit and then stay quiet for a little while, then repeat.
- I make sure I am 100% qualified for my dream position, so I can’t be turned down.
I think that when I work pretty hard on something for a little while, I have probably annoyed my parents or friends enough about everything I WANT. I capitalize that on purpose, just so you know. After I “annoy” everyone with my dreams, I apologize for the inconvenience I have had on their life and take a break from my goals. I then use this next time to help those around me with their dreams or their problems. I know how bad this is, but I do it anyway. Like I have mentioned many times before, I love when others are happy. Others just aren’t happy if you aren’t talking about them and their desires. Now… there is a happy medium. Don’t take off time from your dream. You can go help your friend for a few hours one day and then go home and continue working on your life. You CAN NOT set aside your dreams for someone else’s. You CAN NOT apologize for having something you aspire to be and are passionate about.
When I work for something, I make sure that I am completely and utterly perfect for the position. Yes… I know there is no such thing as being perfect, but oh boy do I try to be. When reading “Girl, Stop Apologizing” I read “…a man…feels he’s at least 60 percent qualified [for a job]. His confidence tells him that he’ll make up the other 40 percent by learning as he goes… that same study shows that the average woman feels that she must be 100 percent qualified to apply for anything.” When I read this, I thought to myself, “This couldn’t be more correct”! What I also realized is that if men can be confident enough in themselves to become better through experience in their dream job or common job then why can’t woman? I’ve come to the conclusion that I am done trying to be perfect. I just want to be enough. I want to be good enough to really transform into a great worker in whatever field I want to be in. You know what? While writing this I have also recognized I already am enough.
Do you believe you are enough?
You are. You are enough. You do have confidence in yourself. You will accomplish anything you put your mind to.
For more on how you can be confident, you should read “Girl, Stop Apologizing” by Rachel Hollis. This book can help woman of all ages gain confidence and maybe just find the confidence that has always been inside of you.
If you haven’t read, “You’re in Control of Your Happiness” you can click the title to find it.