You’re in Control of Your Happiness

“You must choose to be happy, grateful, and fulfilled” says Rachel Hollis in “Girl Wash Your Face”. The word happy is something I live by, which is why I started reading this book. Rachel Hollis talks about the lies you tell yourself and who you can become. It teaches you how to stop believing those lies, overcome them and change your life into what it is meant to be. I highly suggest this book to any girl of any age. There are about 3 chapters young girls don’t need necessarily at that moment but is good to know for the future. Th main part of the book I want to cover is the introduction through chapter 3. They are strictly about your happiness.


“You and only you, are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are.” Did you know that? Neither did Rachel Hollis until a lot of hard work and dedication to wanting to be happy, changed her life and many other women who take her advice. Her truth for you all is exactly as that quote says, your happiness is up to you. While reading this book I want you to keep going back to this quote. This quote in my opinion sums up the whole book. Rachel teaches you many ways to really conquer this quote.

The way of conquering your happiness that hit me the most, is making sure you pin-point all the lies you have told yourself through the years and you crush them like a bug. Take your least favorite shoe and crush that nasty lie on the ground and then throw the shoe out. If you don’t have a pair of shoes you don’t like because you have a shoe addiction like me… then pretend you are doing so. Now you are probably wondering, “what lies are you talking about. I don’t lie to myself.” Believing you aren’t good enough, you aren’t pretty enough and all of those ugly thoughts that go through your head, are lies.

These are my lies:

You are dumb

You are ugly

You are unlovable

You are worthless

You are not in shape

Rachel Hollis has inspired me to speak about my lies and my story. Those are my lies and I am proud to call them lies. Lies mean they aren’t true. I have not fully believed they are lies yet, but it took Rachel Hollis years to be where she is now. I am a patient/but not so patient person.

My happiness is number one on my to-do list and Rachels. That’s where it should be for everyone else too. You are important and you matter. Please always remember that.

A little bit of my own advice for you all is “just keep smiling”. Doesn’t matter how upset you are, just smile. Many psychiatrist and doctors will confirm, when you smile enough it tricks your body into believing you are happy. Eventually it’s no longer a trick. You feel much better and you feel much happier. I have been doing this for years. I learned it my freshman year of high school when I felt a lot of pain and sadness. Although I felt those things, I felt uncomfortable letting people see it in public. There would be occasions I couldn’t stop the tears with a smile but more often than not, smiling always won the fight. It can win your fight too.


How are You Feeling?

Do you feel like you are the only one struggling with taking control of your happiness? Do you feel you were doing it right but not getting the best results? Read what these woman ages 18-40 responded to questions you may need answers to.

If the definition of happiness is the state of mind that you are at peace then, do you believe in true happiness?

“Yes, I believe in true happiness. I have found happiness in many things in my life so far which involve being blessed with so many fortunate things in life such as friends, family and more. I consider myself a happy person and believe that people can find their true happiness once they find their purpose in life or uncover things that make life a bit better/easier. Some people’s lives simply aren’t peaceful and unfortunately, they wake up every morning with a dreadful day ahead of them. This is reality and I believe once everyone finds their light even if it’s at the end of a tunnel, they’ll find happiness.” ~Anon 19 Years Old

 “I do believe in true happiness. We are all put on this earth to live fulfilled, happy lives. Everyone deserves to be happy, but everyone also goes through obstacles to appreciate the happiness to come. Life isn’t perfect, but finding your true happiness is what makes life worth it.” ~Anon 21 Years Old

 I believe that true happiness can be achieved. But I also think sometimes it’s harder to achieve because you may have to hurt people’s feelings in the process. Neither life or people are perfect and because of this I feel there are situations that we can get stuck in and in order to get out of that situation you might have to be honest with others which in turn could hurt someone. ~Anon 39 Years Old

If you have had any of the following thoughts; “I am not good enough”, “I am unlovable” or “I am not pretty enough” what do you do about it?

“I’m not going to lie, it hurts when you’re told you’re not good enough, not pretty enough, etc. It hurts your self-esteem and you question why? But I try to use it as positivity to remind yourself it doesn’t matter what other people think, because I know I am good and pretty enough to be who I am. Everyone is good and pretty enough. Society has warped this mentality that you have to look and act a certain way and we often get lost in how “we’re supposed to be” rather than being who we are. Until we love who we are, how can we expect other people to.” ~Anon 21 Years Old

 “Personally, I tend to get really emotional when I feel insecure and think these types of thoughts. It’s something that I have to simply deal with myself and work on reminding myself there’s nothing actually wrong with me and nobody’s perfect. I think of it more as a mind game, the more I think something, the more I make it a reality.” ~Anon 20 Years Old

 “I’ve had those thoughts in my head on and off since I was a young teenager.   I have to keep reminding myself that isn’t the truth. With being bi-polar and having anxiety it is a little harder. It is more than just thoughts; it is voices telling you these things. Sometimes you sit there and cry and other times you just have to talk it out.  I find myself journaling a lot! Writing down what you hear, and feel is very helpful.  You have to get it out because bottling it up just makes it worse. People need to remember that tomorrow is a new day and it will always get better.” ~Anon 39 Years Old

“Life isn’t meant to be merely survived – it’s meant to be lived. “How does this quote make you feel? Can you explain what this quote means? How does it relate to your happiness?

“That quote opened up my eyes on life. In order to truly live and be happy, you need to actually do things that make you happy. You don’t like your job? Quit it and find one you like. You have toxic people in your life? Cut them out. It might be easier said than done, but that’s what people use as an excuse to prolong the toxicity in their life because it is THAT easy. This quote means that you need to be enjoying life and doing what makes you happy rather than barely getting by negativity pulling you back. Find that happiness and oblige to it forever!” ~Anon 21 Years Old

“Honestly it makes me feel as if I haven’t done enough with my life.  I feel as if I am just trying to survive day by day. We shouldn’t be just trying to make it day by day. Go out and do the things you want to do, see the things you want to see, be present in your life.” ~Anon 39 Year Old

“This quote makes me feel like I don’t always appreciate life to the fullest. I should be taking each day and making the most out of them but sometimes I let myself get into moods where I simply go through the motions of life when I get upset about something. It’s not often, but when it happens, I feel like I am simply surviving.

This quote means that everyone needs to stop simply going through the motions in life and actually take control. It means to live life by doing things you want and striving to make each day the best day no matter what. Life is hard but simply surviving won’t make you happy.

This relates to my happiness because I want to make each day have a purpose no matter what. I hate taking for granted everything I have, and I want to make sure that I’m living each day and not just dragging along. I want to keep up my active lifestyle and extroverted personality in order to keep my life moving uphill.” ~Anon 20 Years Old

“That quote makes me want to do better for myself and try to make better decisions about how I go about being happy and also how to ignore situations that would not better me. I would basically explain it by saying live your best life, don’t just get stuck in a rut. I believe that finding my happiness has always been a struggle for me because this quote practically sums up how I felt a lot of the time (just existing) and that was until i decided to move from Maine to Florida then also join a sorority and move out of the small town and do bigger things for myself.” ~Anon 19 Years Old

Do you feel you smile more than not? Tell me a story where you had to smile in a situation you didn’t want to. Did it make it easier?

“I feel like I have smiled more often than not.  It’s easier to just smile and say you are fine than to explain why you aren’t smiling/happy.

Recently my father passed away, it has been extremely hard to deal with.  When it’s quiet or I am alone I cry a lot but out in public I just put a smile on my face. I feel like I need to push through and be strong for everyone because I don’t want to make my family more sad then they already are. Also, if I’m smiling then maybe when someone asks me how I am I won’t immediately start crying.” ~Anon 39 Years Old

“I for sure believe I smile more than not. No matter what’s going on in my life I try to put those things aside to remain a positive attitude. Just recently I had the worst week of my life. Day after day I kept dealing with a new obstacle and I was so frustrated saying “why me?” but I pushed through the pain and believed everything happens for a reason to get me back to my happy point.” -Anon 21 Years Old

“I definitely smile more often than not. I’m usually in a pretty good mood and always doing things that keep me happy, so I have many reasons to smile every day. However, when I don’t feel happy, stressed or simply feeling down, I tend to be very quiet. Whenever this happens, I still try and fake a smile at least because my problems aren’t everyone else’s. For example, when I went through a break up last year, i was very sad for weeks. I still had to go to work full time though and I had a job to do. Simply starting off my day with a smile (even if not genuine) and laugh with my coworkers helped set my mood a little bit higher.” ~Anon 20 Years Old

How do you feel about the statement, “You are in control of your happiness”?

“I believe “you’re in control of your own happiness” to some extent meaning there’s parts in life that are out of your control that affect your happiness negatively or positively. But aside from circumstances out of your control, you do have the power to have a positive mindset to ensure you do things that make you happy.” Anon 21 Years Old

“For the most part I think that is true. God has a plan for each of us so He ultimately is in control of that. However we make choices here on earth that will determine our immediate happiness. So we just need to be careful with our choices.” ~Anon 39 Years Old

You are not the only one out there doing your best, slacking or not realizing the meaning of happiness. What matters now, is what are you going to do about it?

Girl, Wash your face

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